But in Britain we don't win many gold medals at the Olympics – because we've chosen not to! It's a political statement! Because we hate our national anthem. Because it's God Save the Queen, you see. Now the Queen lives in a very big house, she has barbed wire outside, and people with guns in front of that. That's one saved fucking queen, I'll tell you.
She has no idea of the struggle of human existence. We have to work for a living, raise a family – we don't have nannies all running around the place. It's – it's what you've got to do in your life. So it's "God Save the Queen." No! It's "God Attack the Queen," that's what it should be!
"God attack the Queen, send big dogs after her that bite her bum. Let them chase after her and let themÖ" That'd be fantastic! Then she'd have to fight the crazy dog with a – with a handbag with a brick inside of it. " "Arrgghh, kill the Queen! " And maybe she'd kill the crazy dog and everyone in – in Britain would go, "Hell, fair play with the queen – killed the crazy dog." And the Queen would go – have – she would have self-respect for the first time in her life! It'd be fan-tab-u-lous.
The Anglican faith doesn't have that. You'll never go, "Vicar, I have done many bad things." "Well, so have I." "What shall I do? " "Well, drink five Bloody Mary's and, uh, you won't remember." And because we – uh – the Anglican faith has a lack of – had a lack of principles for a long time. You can't get really headstrong about it.
You can't – you can't, say, you know, like, the – the – the – the Islamic jihads that we hear bout. We get scared about those Islamic jihads. I think we do assume that everyone who is – uhÖis, uh, into the Islamic religion is having a jihad every other bloody day.
There's a lot of very relaxed Islamic people, and we got to understand – remember, this is very important – and we do assume that jihads are just like, you know – j – everyday three jihads, uh, just issued by e – every individual. It just seems they're everywhere – "The fruit shop shortchanged me! A fucking jihad on them." Bump into someone, say, "Hey!
A fucking jihad on you! " "How many jihads have you got going now, Dad? " "Well, 24." "God, it's difficult to keep up with them." I just don't think that's happening. Aaanyway, so yes, sooo, duh duh duh duh duh duh, bum, ba, ba.
And yeah, also, if you're a transvestite, you get lumped into that weirdo grouping. " I'm much more in the executive transvestite area. Travel the world, yes, it's much more executive. Like J. Edgar Hoover – what a fuckhead he was. They found out when he died that he was a transvestite and they go, "Well, that explains his weird behav – " yeah, fucking weirdo transvestite! Executive transvestite.
It's a log – lot wider community – more wide than you'd think. In Dress to Kill, Eddie Izzard spins free-flowing jokes about San Francisco , transvestitism, squirrels, American optimism, Hitler, the British royal family, mass murder, and Stonehenge--and that's only the first 30 minutes. His mercurial patter is sprinkled with four-letter words, but his twinkling glances make this more mischievous than crude.
Izzard has delivered some excellent performances in movies (like Velvet Goldmine and The Cat's Meow), but it's on stage that he really explodes with daffy wit and charisma. Simply brilliant and completely addictive; you will want to watch this over and over. Well at this stage, I feel I've proven I'm something at stand-up comedy and I feel that I have yet quite to prove- though I'm getting better- my dramatic acting.
I have yet to really nail it to a tree and say "Here it is!" I would suppose that being a transvestite gets in the way of being an actor. Film acting was my first love and I never actually wanted to be a standup comedian. I love being a standup comedian now, but being a film actor was my first love. I'm into this idea – this idea i – i – it's – it's – it's a good – it's a positive thing, man. And, uh, I took my last show, my last show, Glorious, I took to, uhh, to Paris and I did it in French, for the – a – a – and the French people came and they stared at me, uh, with that look on their eyes of, "Quoi?
" UmmÖ Because, you know, there's – there's no standup in France, and – and umm, and they're not used – seeing – to – seeing – people who're used to speaking French. Everyone fucking lies! We were – when we were kids we lied our heads off! I was – I wasn't – I was dead at the time!
" And your dad's going, "I haven't even accused you of anything yet." "Oh, all right. Well – what is – what's the que – well – I – I – well – what? " "Did you brush your teeth? " "No – yes – whi – what's correct?
I was dead at the time! " Then when you're more mature, you do start telling the truth in odd situations. "I'm sorry, I've broken the glass, see – I've broken this – is that a – an – expensive? – I've – I'll – I've broke it – I'll pay for that, I'm sorry." And you do that so people in the room might go, "What a strong personality that person has. I like to have sex with people with strong personalities." "And I've broke other things, I smashed that, andÖand that's gone, and I've just thrown the cat out the window andÖ" Ooh, yeah.
Yes, so, um, uh, I was going to be in the army when I was a kid. And I say that and people go, ohhhyuhyuhyuh, no I was, I was going to be in the army when I was a kid. Cause – cause if you're a transvestite, you're actually a male tomboy. That's where the sexuality is. Yeah, its – it's not drag queen; no, gay men have got that covered.
And, uh, this is male tomboy. And people do get that mixed up – they put transvestite there – no no no no! Little bit of a crowbar separation, thank you. And gay men I think would agree.
An incredibly strong act which seems scripted in only the loosest sense. That is to say, Izzard clearly has some basic material he's working through, but on the day, as it were, he allows himself to go wherever his mind and occasional verbal flubs take him. The net result is something that feels coherent but, at times, spontaneous.
And, oh yeah, he's a transvestite. For me, the most amazing bit is on the dvd extras, where you get to see him do some of his routine in a French club. His French is pretty good but there are a number of points where, to comic effect, he needs to get confirmation of a word or term from the audience. The jaw-dropping moment for me is a bit where he channels Sean Connery—I can't get my mind around how one does a Scottish accent while saying French words. The main performance on the dvd though involves a fair amount of talking down to dumb Yanks about where the history comes from, which all in all seems fair.
Eddie Izzard spins free-flowing jokes about San Francisco, transvestitism, squirrels, American optimism, Hitler, the British royal family, mass murder, & Stonehenge--& that's only the first 30 minutes. Izzard romps through human history & transforms surprisingly complex ideas into biting satire--as well as knockout bits of sublime frivolity, like describing the movie Speed entirely in French. Eddie Izzard spins free-flowing jokes about San Francisco, transvestitism, squirrels, American optimism, Hitler, the British royal family, mass murder, and Stonehenge--and that's only the first 30 minutes. Izzard romps through human history and transforms surprisingly complex ideas into biting satire--as well as knockout bits of sublime frivolity, like describing the movie Speed entirely in French. Her mercurial patter is sprinkled with four-letter words, but her twinkling glances make this more mischievous than crude. Summary Eddie Izzard spins free-flowing jokes about San Francisco, transvestitism, squirrels, American optimism, Hitler, the British royal family, mass murder and Stonehenge.
Then I want to do German gigs, then I'm going to do Spanish gigs and then Italian gigs and I was born in Yemen, so I'm going end up doing Arabic gigs, just because there are so little differences between us as humans. We think, "Oh my God, different languages, different religions, different this, different that, but I think if monsters came from outer space and started attacking us, we'd find so many similarities in the twinkling of an eye, so I'm looking for that. No, I'd rather play bit parts than big dramatic roles where you get the girls. Izzard employs his unique conversational style to describe his journey from his birth in South Yemen through his itinerant childhood to coming out as a transvestite, and finally becoming a comic, media personality, and film star. Those who have seen Izzard perform will immediately recognise the digressive meandering of his stream-of-consciousness anecdotes and monologues. Using this to great effect while discussing such topics as comedy, popular culture, sexuality, and hairy mammals, he generally succeeds in firing the imagination.
However, as anyone who has seen his shows and is later asked to "repeat one of his jokes" will discover, delivery of his material is of the essence. Confessing at the end of the book that he doesn't write his act down, we discover why, as occasionally it fails to transfer to the written page. It is surprising that so many people are unfamiliar with one of the funniest comedians working today- Eddie Izzard. Now on DVD "Dress to Kill" is nearly two hours of standup - and rarely, if ever, misses its mark.
People unfamiliar with Eddie Izzards material will be surprised and impressed how simultaneously funny and intelligent Eddie Izzard is. I'm a - I'm a - f - film nut - a - as well. But – complete nut on films.
Used to break into film studios. There's a – f – a studio called Pinewood Studios near, uh, London. And I broke in there when I was 15. And I crept around, creeping, creeping – a – and hoping that some guy with a big cigar might go, "Hey!
For my film, 'The Creeping Kid! Uhh, yeahÖ" But no, it didn't happen! They were filming tall, angularÖveterinarian film that dayÖ I didn't have my bag. And my hand up a horse'sÖanyway. Eddie Izzard's rambling, free-form style of comedy might not be to everyone's taste but I found it perfect for listening to while out for a run. I've no idea why this is the case but I was left feeling a little disappointed as familiarity with that version of the show had left me expecting them.
I wouldn't say it ruined the experience for me completely but it was a bit of let down. Eddie Izzard - action transvestite, boy racer and male tomboy - spent the 1990s conquering Britain. As the decade ended, he looked further afield.
"Dressed To Kill", his stand-up tour, saw him transport his high heels and off-the-shoulder numbers to New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco, taking a natural comedian's delight in the differences separating the two sides of the Pond. He also reflects on the trials and tribulations of being an cross-dressing, surrealist comedian intent on making it in America. Well, hopefully, if I'm leaving dickheads behind in the dust then it's probably a good thing. I assume the intelligence of the audience, and that is the inverse of dumming down.
That's a bit too cramped. So I'd rather play to the American people who have a sense of irony. Understand that in Britain there's a saying that Americans have no sense of irony, and I'm fighting to prove, and I think that I have proven that Americans do have a sense of irony, because it's "Middle America" that has no sense of irony. But it – back in the 60s, though, back in the 60s, President Kennedy became the President of the United States of America. And uh, and he we – he went to Berlin.
Went – stood on the Berlin wall and he said, "People of BerlinÖ" " People of Berlin." I can't do an impression of President Kennedy so this isÖ "People of Berlin. Amy dumped – " No, James Mason playing uh, umÖ "People of Berlin, I have come to you to tell you something about the American states – what is – I – I sound a bit God, don't I? But I have come to say to you that every free citizen of the world is a citizen of Berlin. And I wish to say to you, 'Ich bin ein Berliner.' " And the crowd went fucking wild.
And the bunny rabbits! Where do they come into the crucifixion? There were no bunny rabbits up on the hill going, "Hey – you – what, are you going to put those crosses in our – bur – warrens? We live below this hill, all right? " Bunny rabbits are for shagging, eggs are for fertility. It's a festival – it's the spring festival!
Christmastime, you know, Jesus, uhhh, born to a big jolly guy in a red jacket. Ho, ho, ho, baby Jesus! And what would you like for Christmas?
